May 14, 2006

Yes I'm on my lap-top…which I call my lappy 😀 So I'm typing at snails pace so no one hears it clicking…I'm gonna start saying eventual instead of awsome…jb.

I'm happy and I'm confused, and I'm also psyched*is that how it's spelled?* here's why.

Happy-Because Chase has a girlfriend so I can FINALLY give him up with a decent excuse. Because I went to a Marine concert. Because I have a room. Because even if life sucks I CAN and WILL go on. I mean you only get one life so live it while you got it. Pick up what you've got and run with it.

Expanding on the Marine concert. I was all alone, and got stuck watching my sister and her boyfriend be all "lovey-dovey" if you get my meaning. But the concert was EVENTUAL.

Confused-Because I'm happy about giving up Chase. Because I want to think Jordan's hiting on me and flirting with me even if he's not. Because my stupid emotions are like a roller coaster. Because I'm not sure what's going on anymore.

Psyched-Because Jordan's talking to me. Because I went to the gym. Because…because I'm still alive.

I talking with Jordan and Nicole and it's making me happy beyond reason. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I'm just throwing this in here instead of making a new post….it's been about 6 minutes since I posted this so it doesn't really matter. W/e.

Something that's been really eating at my mind is that today I talked with Chase *again about his girlfriend* only this time instead of telling him how incredably hurt it made me feel, I was treating him like an old friend who FINALLY got a date. Like I'd treat Sam or Nicole. Asking him what's she's like, how she looks, when he gets to see her.  That sort of thing. And I didn't feel jealous or anything, just happy. Like that was what I should be doing. It was weird. In the end he didn't really wana talk any more, I think I asked to many questions.

I dunno. But since I feel like talking more than typing to some blog…AIM AWAY! lol ttyl.

-Jessica lynn


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