Day of the Devil

June 6, 2006

That’s what today is…right? 6/6/06? Like the backdrop? Happier yes? And the title I know is still weird…but hey, one step at a time. That’s how I feel about a lot of things.

Like how I am/used to be, I’m not looking back on my mistakes. I’m just dropping it. And that’s how Chase acted with me pretty much. Just, bye. And well…I’m REALLY sorry, but when Jordan dumped me, yeah all the way back at the begining of 6th grade, it was just bye, then we hardly talked through the rest of the entire school year. Tough. Seriously. But as you SHOULD all know-that’s gotten a LOT better. No sarcasm here-none at all.

Gezz, I’ve been feeling really hug happy lately*and like I got hit by a train >_<*but nobody wants to hug me back T_T lol. Ah well.

In the last week I’ve lost 9 pounds. In the 2 weeks before that I gained 14. What’s going on? I’ve been eating like a horse for a month. The past 3 weeks I’ve eaten nearly nothing. Alex is getting me back on track though. And geez the gym has been hell. Lately I’ve been able to go just about every day. For I dunno, a week? Two? Anyway, my “Do everything I possibly can while I’m here” stragegy HURTS LIKE HELL. I couldn’t do the run today. I just collapsed. My arms, my legs, my stomache. OWCH. Passed out doing my homework last night you know. And for once, this isn’t a sympathy line-I did. Now, I may have been going for some extra sympathy when I said I passed out this morning…But I did fall back to sleep on the floor…More than once. But it wasn’t really passing out. I ended up coming to school in my pj’s, soccer shorts, and an And 1 Basketball t-shirt. Nicve huh? Funny thing is more guys liked this shirt than all my tight shirts, and my tank-tops, and everything else I own. Weird. Same with the soccer shorts. I guess being casual every now and then can pay off.

Let’s see…School is nearing over again. It makes me SO SAD!!!! Over summer, I won’t see Andrew, Braden, Chase, most likely Jordan*scary summer blonde! lol jk*, Crystal, probably no Lauren, Nicole, Julia, or Jordan*thank god..the girl Jordan*, Sammy’s gonna be stuck with the kids all summer, and Kenz will be…well Kenz, the only person I think I’m gonna see is Alex. And that’s only for 2 reasons. One she’s in my camp at Winacka-hallelujah! And ’cause she wants me to “be her personal trainer” and get her in shape for highschool…So what, I’m gonna be yelling at her to do push-ups? Drag her to the gym? Run her around the track? I’m not sure, but she asked me so I will, because I think it might be fun, because I owe her, and because she’s my friend and she deserves it. Other than that, I’m gonna get sent to camps-mostly with out Alex-and otherwise be home alone all summer. Whatever will I do? Work on my sucky basketball? Sure. All ALONE. Go to the gym? The pool? Sure. All ALONE. Walk down to Albertson’s or 7 Eleven? Sure. All ALONE. Or stay home and read? Rot my brains on video games or TV? Yeah, right. All ALONE. Why alone? Because A-people are never free/my parents won’t let me do anything B-the Bigger reason-NOBODY TAKES ME ANYWHERE!!! Not the beach, the ice rink, not anywhere. And that is my reasoning.

Ah well….today was pretty much bitch day for me. *bad girl!* Maybe I can be nice the rest of the school year then.*shrugs*

Wyatt is being all…I dunno…lovey?*shivers* it’s weird. One day he’s yelling at me. The next he’s all “sorry” and “nice” and…*shivers* I don’t know…Just had to put that in it was nagging at the back of my mind ya know?

I could be perfect. I could be anyone. I could be anything. If only someone wanted me. If only you were with me.

-Jessica lynn


4 Responses to “Day of the Devil”

  1. dude- you lost it.

    your background is.. PINK!!!!

    … i luv it….

    anywho- i think your workout stratagy sucks really bad if it hurts you like this(i killed my hands givig you that massage during P.E.)

    and I think if you want a guy that is gonna give you the attention you deserve you need to let them chase you- not the other way around.

  2. crazyguy1292 said

    yeah sorry about that
    hell, i was a seventh grader, what’d u expect?
    the world was supposed too end that day
    i was sad, because it didnt

  3. wait wha? What’re you sorry for??? Is confused

  4. crazyguy1292 said

    being all lovery *shivers* 🙂

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