Time to stop dreaming about the life I want…

November 27, 2006

and start living the life I need.

I spent about an hour on the phone with Jordan last night. We talked about soccer, and basketball, boxes, and what it’s like to be the younger or older sibling in a family…and just as I was telling him how sometimes I get kind of forgotten, guess who opens the door and says’ We need to talk.’-Mom. Joy. Get this, she was eavesdropping on me…she HEARD what I was saying…I guess talking on the phone’s not safe anymore.

Well…It WAS great to get to chat with Jordan for so long…but being lectured and questioned by my mom? Yikes! Not the best thing in the world.

I can stop daydreaming about Jordan ever being anything more than a friend I guess…I mean-that’s all it’s ever gonna be, a dream. So why dream? Why care?…well jeez I guess I might as well say why live…just because I can I guess. The odd thing is…I like having Jordan as just a friend…if we were ever more than friends I’m not sure I could still talk to him the way I do…because I’d be wondering what he’d think of me…and if he was telling me everything. These days, I already know it’s pretty hopeless, and I can stop worry about what Jordan thinks, and I also know that if there’s something he wants to tell me he will, and if he doesn’t want me to know, then I don’t need to know-it’s not really any of my business.

-Jessica lynn


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