I Sick…uhg

December 22, 2006

I’m pretty sure Wyatt got me sick,  >_< thanks a lot! lol

Anyhow, I’ve been playing Weff riddles, at www.weffriddles.com it’s pretty darn cool actually, I beat batch one today. It was pretty intense.

I went on a date with Wyatt yesterday. We saw Unaccompanied Minors, which rocked by the way, then went to Nickle City, not as great, but still great, and then, the best part….ok second only to kissing him on his doorstep, dinner at Islands. I had a virgin pina coloada, a Pipeline, and split cheesecake with Wyatt for dessert. I loved every minute of it. From trying to figure out which doorbell to ring when I came to pick him up, to watching the movie, holding hands as we walked to dinner, to kissing him before we ate, walking with his arms around me, and then taking him home and kissing him goodbye on the doorstep. (dang, that is most DEFINATELY a run-on sentence if I ever saw one >_<)

God, I love Wyatt. I was smiling the whole time, and all night, and even now. I’m not even sure why, I just know it feels good to have something to smile about. I’m gonna see him again tomorrow, at David’s party. Ashley’s dad is gonna be there.  It’s gonna be a little weird. But oh well.

Note to Self: Don’t kiss a guy on the lips when he’s sick, chances are, you’ll get sick too…bleh.

-Jessica lynn 

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Playing ‘Cards’

December 20, 2006

That’s what I did at Wyatt’s house today…

Well…not really…We just cuddled and kissed mostly. Oh and talked. I finally kissed him on the lips, he kissed me on the lips too. I lost count of the number, I don’t care, I’m happy.

He’s got an AWSOME dog, at least one awsome cat…I didn’t really see the other two…a very skittish mouse, and a ball-python I didn’t see.

His mom really likes me…I think. I didn’t see his dad, and his siblings are pretty indifferent. It’s all good.

I am so unbelieveably happy right now. Life is good, life is really truely good.

-Jessica lynn

I did it!

December 20, 2006

I kissed Wyatt. Just on the cheek but…oh, and then he kissed me. 😀

As you can guess, today, was awsome. We met up this morning and walked around a bit, then we sat down and just talked. Shortly after the bell rang, I gathered my guts and just kissed him on the cheek. It’s amazing the amount of stress I built up over something that was so easy. Wyatt agreed after he kissed me back*yeah on the cheek*

I got to cuddle with him in band, and then in B.E. I didn’t really see any of him, same with P.E. and science, as lunch came by we talked some more though. We sat together in B.E. during the movie, and then didn’t really see each other in math either.

I gotta go….

-Jessica lynn

well it feels pretty soft to me.

The View-Modest Mouse

Your gun went off.
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you.
My mouth runs on too.Shouts from both sides,
“Well we’ve got the land but they’ve got the view!”
Well now here’s the clue.
Life it rents us.
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you.
Well I hope mine did too.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
then I feel pretty blissfully.

Your gun went off.
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you.
My mouth runs on too.

Shouts from both sides,
“Well we’ve got the land but they’ve got the view!”
Well now here’s the clue.

We are fixed right where we stand.

Life it rents us.
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you.
Well I hope mine did too.

We are fixed right where we are.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully.

For every invention made how much time did we save?
We’re not much farther than we were in the cave.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
and it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully.

If life’s not beautiful without the pain,
well I’d just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.

For every good deed done there is a crime committed.
We are fixed.
For every step ahead we could have just been seated.
We are fixed.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully.

We are fixed.
We are fixed.
We are fixed right where we stand.

It’s got nothing to do with how I feel but it’s still a good song. Right now actually, I’m feeling pretty good. Pretty damn good. Lemme explain why ok?

On Friday: Disneyland, the bus ride up I planned to sleep. In reality I didn’t sleep at all, but I didn’t care; I spent the ride up in Wyatt’s arms. God, he is SO warm and cuddly! And nice, and comfy…hmmm. And then as soon as I got off the bus a few of my friends hounded me for cuddling with him since they like him. After that I spent the day on and off with him. Splash Mtn. etc. lol. He told me he didn’t trust me. I almost cried. Instead though, I went and got chocolate and ice cream. I didn’t sit with him on the way home.

On Saturday: I cried  little on the bus ride up to Magic Mountain. I got there and got soaked to the bone. Met some hott guys…ok, not hott, just nice guys that weren’t bad looking. They took us on Gold Rush. After that I got dragged onto the Revolution*in Wyatt’s arms. The first part I was SO scared, after the loop I started laughing hysterically- It was AWSOME. I went a second time, then we hit up the water rides a few more times and then went on the Viper. Sadly, that was my last non-water ride…T_T But, I spent a heck of a lot of the day in Wyatt’s arms. However, I didn’t ride home with him.

This School Week: I’m gonna summarize this cause I’m kinda lazy. I realized I like Wyatt, told the other people that like him, and then told him. We hug a lot, we talk on the phone a lot, I’m actually talking to him on AIM right now. I need to just find like the perfect time to kiss him…I almost did on my way to Disneyland. And once or twice at Magic Mountain. I think I really wanna kiss him-not just to have my first kiss, but like really want to…

This weekend I’m going to Wyatt’s birthday party. It’s a rock climbing party at Solid Rock. I can’t wait.

-Jessica lynn

Cuz well…I’ve always had this little problem with my love life…I think I’ve fallen in ‘love’ when I haven’t. Not with a boy anyhow, but with the idea of being in love.

I’ve been looking back and wondering if I’ve ever really loved someone. Danny maybe…but he…well, let’s just say it can’t work-ever. Chase was just a fleeting fantasy, no real anything. Ever, he was just…another guy. As for Jordan…wow. That’s my best explanation. I like him now, now I don’t…he’s now, and then he’s not. On again off again. What gives? For the longest time I felt he was my life. The reason I breathed, etc etc etc. But now…sure I’d probably die for the kid, but that’s not exactly love…Fuck, what IS love?

-Jessica lynn

Maybe if I just pretend…

December 4, 2006

Maybe It’ll all just go away.

Then again maybe it won’t. That’s the scary idea I guess.  I’ve been kind of meandering around in my fantasy-land. Prentending in my spare time that everyting is ok(it isn’t), that I have a boyfriend(I don’t), that my friends all like me and would be there for me if I really need it(I do and they’re not, other people are), and that oh say Jordan likes me(he doesn’t).

Well this little world came crashing down today when I noticed, not for the first time, but really noticed for the first time that there is no hope for Jordan to like me…I think he likes Andrea to be honest.  But that’s just from my point of view. I’ve been wrong before…but no, that’s not really what hit home today. What hit home was that he doesn’t like me that way and he never will. End of story.

Well not really…but you get the point.

I feel pretty alone…which is kind of self-centered of myself, because I’m alomst always surrounded by people. Some of whom would go out with me if only I would ask…heck some have even ASKED…I could make someone so happy if only I’d say yes…but this is one matter that I want myself to be happy, and really it makes me feel like a bitch. I want to be that selfless person, the one that everyone loves and everything turns out ok for… I’m sure you know someone like that. But I always end up wanting something, or someone, and scrwing it all up. I’ve always got nothing, never everything….not even a little something it feels like.

On another note, we’ve been playing soccer in P.E., it rocks, I kick ass, even when we lose. I get to go head-to-head with jerks and psych them out, and trip them and all that good stuff. Love it.

…I wonder if Jordan plays good soccer….David’s on my team, he plays good. He’s a bit of a showoff, but at least he CAN showoff…lol.

Well….make-believe of a better life is over for the time being…well life is over for a bit. But I’m too lazy to end it. Maybe I’ll get lucky and it’ll start up again for me…I don’t think I’ll call Jordan for a while. He might wonder why. Or he might read this…

-Jessica lynn