Kiwi

May 30, 2007

I dunno how many of you have already seen this, but….

IT’S AWSOME!!!!!! Kiwi It’s so sad….it has it’s own little place in my heart*sigh*

Anywho, yesterday, I was very happy, Wyatt came over ^^ And that’s ALWAYS a good thing. Let’s see….We played Scrabble-yes we DID play Scrabble T_T lol. Mostly 😉 Then it was dinner-time, Jo came over…and well, that was interesting. After dinner….well, we just kinda hung out in the laundry room and thought about playing Mancala. If you get my meaning. It made me, very happy. lol. But then again, everything about Wyatt makes me happy. (that may be an exaggeration, but if it is, it is NOT a very big one)

So anyways, today, yet another unforgivingly long school-day. We’ve only got like 16 days of school left. One of them is at Soak City, another at the Musem of Tolerance(I’m gonna like LIVE for the bus ride there and back), and of course the last day does bot count like at all, so really, that’s what, 13 days?

Mmmmm….I’m in a real feel-good mood rihgt now. I’m talkin’ to my baby on AIM right now, I’m wearing his sweatshirt and all I can smell is him, I’ve got my ‘Tiny Teddy’ thanks to him, cuddled up in my arms right now. Oh there’s almost no way to make this any better. Almost, but not quite, Wyatt’s missing from my perfect little picture.

Feeling This-Blink 182

I got no regret right now (I’m feeling this)
The air is so cold and low (I’m feeling this)
Let me go in her room (I’m feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I’m feeling this) {I wanna take off her clothes (I’m feeling this)}
Show me the way to bed (I’m feeling this)
Show me the way you move (I’m feeling this)
Fuck it, it’s such a blur (I’m feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I’m feeling this)
[Chorus:]
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I’ll leave when I wanna

Where do we go from here
Turn all the lights down now
Smiling from ear to ear (I’m feeling this)
Our breathing has got too loud (I’m feeling this)
Show me the bedroom floor (I’m feeling this)
Show me the bathroom mirror (I’m feeling this)
We’re taking this way too slow (I’m feeling this)
Take me away from here (I’m feeling this)

[Chorus x2]

This place was never the same again
After you came and went
How can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone
On the street with a cigarette
On the first night we met

Look to the past
And remember and smile.
And maybe tonight
I can breathe for awhile.
I’m not in the scene
I think I’m fallin’ asleep
But then all that it means is
I’ll always be dreaming of you.

[Chorus x5]
[During Last Choruses In The Background:]
(Are we alone, do you feel it?
So lost and disillusioned)

I’m listenin’ to that right now. It’s a good song. Blink 182 rocks….I think I need a showa and shall be leaving shortly.

Cya

-Jessica lynn

Oh how I’ve missed my little lappy!!!!*huggles*

Anyhow….let’s see. So, yesterday, my site got 74 hits, can you say holy shit? ‘Cause I can. Also, since I had to have ‘family time’ and watch Night at the Musem, which was awesome, I didn’t get to talk to Wyatt T_T. So sad I know.

I’m planning on working on my books some more now that I’ve rediscovered the laptop. If you didn’t know, my two books are, Last Hope, and Orange Shoelaces. Last Hope has a way cool plot, while Orange Shoelaces is more meningful, it’s deep man. Way deep. Lol. But also seriously.

Maybe if I ever get enough of it written, I’ll post chunks of it up on my WP, if it’s REALLY good, I might make a whole other website for it…..psh, I wish. So let’s see….Right, my new song lyrics….

Helicopter-The Feeling

My pianos out of tune
I wish it wasn’t
I wish that you were mine
I wish that my heart was stronger

My pianos out of tune
I wish it wasn’t
I wish we had more time
I wish that my world was softer
And I’m on a helicopter

I’ve had this feeling before
My heart is crawling in the mud, mud, mud
Id feel much better I’m sure if I had a helicopter

This telephone’s out of use
I wish it wasn’t
I wish you loved me more
I wish that your world was closer

This telephone’s out of use
I wish somebody would take me to your door
I wish that my world was finer
And we were on an ocean liner

I’ve had this feeling before
My heart is crawling in the mud, mud, mud
Id feel much better I’m sure if I had an ocean liner

My pianos out of tune
I wish it wasn’t
I wish we had more time
I wish that my world was softer
And I’m on a helicopter

I’m on a helicopter

I’ve had this feeling before
My heart is crawling in the mud, mud, mud
Id feel much better I’m sure if I had a helicopter, if I had a helicopter
My heart is crawling in the mud, mud, mud
My heart is crawling in the mud, mud, mud

Din-din. Talk to you all later. Maybe just later tonight…ciao

Jessica lynn

Sick Puppies

May 27, 2007

They’re a BAND you numbskull!!!! lol and they are AWESOME I might add

Too Many Words-Sick Puppies

I’ve tried to balance these lives that we are living
You always feel justified but you never feel forgiving
I woke up one morning to find myself wrapped in the things I swore I’d never touch.
And here I am again trying to save what’s left of you and I
So why aren’t you satisfied?
I reached out, fell short
Now you’re hurt, too many words
Breaking the silence
I felt it, bled it, screamed it,
It only gets worse
And it kills me watching me too angry for us to survive
I used too many words tonight
I tried to get it right
But I was just wastin’ my time
’cause you never compromised when it came to us
We struggle and fall apart we build it back to static start
The endless accusations I can’t believe we made it this far.
I reached out, fell short
Now you’re hurt, too many words
Breaking the silence
I felt it, bled it, screamed it,
It only gets worse
And it kills me watching me too angry for us to survive
I used too many words tonight
Waking on tomorrow
It’s gotta be better than this
I reached out, fell short
Now you’re hurt, too many words
Breaking the silence
I felt it, bled it, screamed it,
It only gets worse
I used too many words tonight
Too many words
Too many words
Too many words
Too many words

Oh and here’s a song Wyatt showed me….well he showed me a video with the song on it….it’s actually the real music video O_O lol, you’ll see.

All the Same-Sick Puppies

I dont mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I dont like illusions I cant see
Them clearly
I dont care, no I wouldn’t dare
To fix the twist in you
You’ve shown me eventually what you’ll do
I dont mind
I dont care
As long as you’re here
[Chorus]
Go ahead and tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It’s all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breath you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am
I dont mind, I dont care
As long as you’re here
Go ahead and tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It’s always the same
Wrong or Right
Black or White
If I close my eyes
Its all the same

In my life
The compromise
I’ll close my eyes
Its all the same

Go ahead say it
You’re leaving
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are now
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It’s all the same

Here’s the music video if you’re interested, you know you’re interested. Free Hugs

Mmmmmmm…..Dunno if you get any more song from me today….I dun think so. But you should look up the Sick Puppies ok? Good boy!(or girl) lol.

Ok, life recap much? Here we go, from the top, with Trail Blazing, as much as I can remember, as long boring and possibly painful as it may be….Joy.

Ok, so yeah, at first I was pretty sure no good friends of mine were going, but I was willing to go it alone and have a blast anyways, ya know? Well, I hooked up with Dennis Sun for a bit, and the evil annoying ‘prep’ girls(amazing much?), and for like 90-95% of the trip Tyler Lopresti. Can you say oops?

Ok, so Day 1, drive up to Yosemite, I sat with Dennis, we talked a lot, eventually got bored, I slept, he drew a picture of me sleeping o_O ok then. It snowed some when we got to Yosemite, we got out while it was raining to look at Bridle Vale Falls, then got back on the charter bus to go to Curry Village. We got there, found our rooms, ate dinner, and went on a short hike. It was like freezing, and so I was holding Tyler’s hand in my left, and Dennis’s in my right, and hand both hands in their pockets. Jacket pockets, not pants pockets, jeez. lol. We all got yelled at for that, oops. Tyler and Dennis agree I have soft, and cold, hands lol. Whatever.

Day 2, we all got to sleep in….it was the only day we slept in. I got up early-ish, watched the sunrise, snuck back in the cabin to grab my current book-Insomnia, and then read outside until the rest of the world woke up. We ate, and then as a group, took the shuttle all over that little loop of Yosemite. I hung with Tyler the whole time, we talked a lot, mostly about nothing. we found some snow and had a snowball fight. Then we all got free time to do whatever in groups, plus money to split for lunch with one person. My group was me, Cassie, Tyler, and….I think Matt, but I really don’t remember….hehe, it was a while ago you know. I split my money with Tyler, as a group, we did like nothing but sit on the bus. Later we did lots of rock climbing. Well, me and the guys. I was the only girl that climbed like at all. And boy did I climb. There’s supposedly tons of pictures of me climbing, I’ll find out later.

Day 3/4, we left Yosemite for Sacramento. I slept most of that day, then we did the ‘Polar Bear Plunge’….in a heated pool. Nice huh? Next day, sight seeing in Sacramento, whatever. And then we went white water rafting. I was freaking at first, but I got over it, swam a rapid on purpose, you know, the usual. I cudled with Tyler on the way back because we were freaking freezing, and he was warm.

Day 5/6, we left for San Fransico. Our first day we got there, we ate, we just kind of settled in. Nothing much. Next day, shopping sight-seeing, etc. Girls made me wear a mini-skirt, and a dress, that sort of thing.

Day 7, Great America!!!!! YEAH!!!!!IT WAS AWESOME. The Demon, Top Gun, Pysco Mouse, the food, I loved every minute.

Day 8, Hearstz’ Castle(spelling?) We took like a two hour tour and then headed home. I slept on Tyler the whole way, what can I say? I was tired. He slept too, I think. I shouldn’t have done that. Supposedly there’s lots of picture of us sleeping. I guess I’ll find out. I came home alone, ate dinner, talked to Sam, talked to Wyatt, generally fucked up my life, same old same old.

I ended up thinking I like Tyler, I told Wyatt, and that was…well, a disaster. Let’s just say I think we’ve got it all sorted out now, his mom pretty much hates me, I’ve spent a fair bit of time hating me, and I wouldn’t be too suprised if Wyatt has too, even though he hasn’t so much as hinted at that.

Anyhow, thing’s are back to normal, ish. I get hugs and kisses from Wyatt, I don’t talk to Tyler much at all. But I do see quite a bit of him since we both joined track, well, he asked me to….and I did. Another mistake, but I’m not gonna back out of it now. I’m signed up for three events. Long jump, hurdles, and the 400. Yippee.

I’ve been totally absorbed in IT, and Pokemon for the past few weeks, but nothing much new anymore really. I really hope I get to see Wyatt this weekend. I haven’t seen him in forever!

School’s almost out T_T I’ve got a great dress and some killer heels. Killer as in awesome and painful. I weigh 115 now, I went to the gym today….Hmmm, what else do I have to say?

Love you Wyatt!

Love you Sam!

Love you Alex!

Love you (insert name of person reading this now here)

My World-Sick Puppies

I’m not coming back
I’m not gonna react
I’m not doing shit for you
I’m not sitting around
While you’re tearing it down around us
I’m not living a lie
While you swim in denial
‘Cause you’re already dead and gone
You’ll leave me out on the curb
Just like everyone else before you
[Chorus]
Welcome to my world
Where everyone I ever need
Always ends up leaving me alone
Another lesson burned
And I’m drowning in the ashes
Kicking
Screaming
Welcome to my world
I don’t care what you think
I’m not seeing a shrink
I’m not doing this again
I’m not another
Student or a mother
To take your shit out on
So let’s see what you got
And let’s see what you’re not
And whatever else you pretend
You’ve defended my intentions
Long enough
[Chorus]

So here I am again
In the middle of the end
And the choice I wish I’d made
I always make too late

[Chorus]

My font is being screwy.

Ciao!

-Jessica lynn