Do it Alone-Sugarcult

Hello
Can I say that there’s something wrong with this place?
I got time just to waste if you would be my new escape
So then I say “can’t find a lover”
Well there’s no other way of pulling me under
Cause it’s gotta be fate if we’re under the covers
It’s all gonna be a-ok, a-okI don’t want to do it alone
I’m beggin’ you
I don’t want to do it, do it, do this all aloneWe can dance in your bedroom with no romance
I got time just to waste if you would be my new escape
So then you say “there won’t be another”
But you give it away cause you want to discover
That it’s gotta be fate if we’re under the covers
It’s all gonna be a-ok, a-ok
I don’t want to do it alone
I’m beggin’ you
I don’t want to do it alone
Tell you what
I don’t want to do it alone
I’m beggin’ you
I don’t want to do it, do it, do this all

1, 2, 3, 4
4, 3, 2, 1

I don’t want to do it alone
I’m beggin’ you
I don’t want to do it alone
I’m beggin’ you
I’m beggin’ you
I’m beggin’ you
I’m beggin’ you

I don’t want to do it alone
I’m beggin you
I don’t want to do it alone
Tell you what
I don’t want to do it alone
I’m beggin you
I don’t want to do it, do it, do this all alone

Can I say that there’s something wrong with this place?
I got time just to waste if you would be my new escape
So then I say “can’t find a lover”
Well there’s another way of pulling me under
Cause it’s gotta be fate if we’re under the covers
It’s all gonna be a-ok
It’s all gonna be a-ok, a-ok

I don’t want to do it alone

I’m being bitchy to everybody. Friends, family, doesn’t matter. I’ve been bitching at Wyatt, and that makes me feel like crap. Tomorrow is gonna be another day on my own. I feel a little better about it though because John won’t be there so at least it won’t get rubbed in my face.

There must be something wrong with me. I can’t believe I was fighting with him. I started the damn fight! Why? Oh god why am I doing this to myself? Why am I asking god, I don’t even believe in him/her/it?!

You’ve got to read or listen to this song…

Say Anything-Good Charlotte

Here I am on the phone again and…
Awkward silences on the other end
I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice
But right now (right now ) all I feel (all I feel) is the pain of fighting starting up again

All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind, on my mind
All the things we laugh about
they’ll bring us through it every time,
After time, after time

Don’t say a word,
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don’t walk away,
I know you wanna stay
If you just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything

Some say that time changes,
best friends can become strangers
But I don’t want that, no not for you
If you just stay with me we can make it through
So here we are again the same old argument
Now I’m wondering if things will ever change
When will you laugh again,
laugh like you did back when
We’d make noise ’til 3 am,
And the neighbors would complain
All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind, stay my mind
All the things we laugh about
they’ll bring us through it every time,
After time, after time

Don’t say a word,
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don’t walk away,
I know you wanna stay
If you just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything

I’m fallin…
I’m fallin…
I’m fallin down

I’m fallin…
I’m fallin…
I’m fallin down

Down, down,down…

Don’t say a word,
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don’t walk away,
I know you wanna stay
If you just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything

Don’t say a word, (Please don’t leave…)
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don’t walk away, (Please don’t leave…)
I know you wanna stay
If you just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything

I’m so sorry babe, I didn’t mean it, and I don’t know how many times I’m going to tell you that before you believe it. But I will tell you again and again until you believe me.

Look, I’ll talk to later. There’s too much stuff I need to sort out in my life. Like what really matters.

-Jessica lynn

I’m Just a Kid

June 29, 2007

and life is a nightmare…

I’m Just a Kid-Simple Plan

I woke up it was 7
I waited til 11
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think I’ve got alot of friends
But I don’t hear from them
What’s another night all alone
When you’re spending every day on your own
And here it goes
I’m just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid
I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cuz I’m alone and the world is having more fun than me
And maybe when the night is dead
I’ll crawl into my bed staring at these 4 walls again
I’ll try to think about the last time I had a good time
Everyone’s got somewhere to go & they’re gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes

I’m just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid
I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cuz I’m alone and the world is having more fun than me

What the fuck is wrong with me
Don’t fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I’m bored & I can’t fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever

I’m just a kid
I’m just a kid
I’m just a kid
I’m just a kid
I’m just a kid

I’m just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid
I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cuz I’m alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world

I’m just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid
I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cuz I’m alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cuz I’m alone and the world is having more fun than me tonight
I’m all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cuz I’m just a kid tonight

Welcome to my Life-Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels all right
You don’t know what it’s like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels all right
You don’t know what it’s like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy but I’m not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like, what it’s like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like (what it’s like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Yeah, today kind of sucks. I get to go to the beach!!!!….alone. Wyatt can’t go, David can’t go, Alex can’t go, Sammi won’t answer the phone, and Nickle can’t go.

And I’ve got mood swings that could end the world >_< I was bitchy earlier and now I’m just sad.

Supposedly David’s reading this right now, I think he is….lol

And also supposedly Wyatt is jealous of David….insane much? He should re-read some of this if das true…I gotta ask him though.

I’ve got a headache the size of Canada. BYE.

-Jessica lynn

Here’s some stuff I forgot to post for the end of the year…

Graduation-Vitamin C

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don’t have another day
Cause we’re moving on and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn’t know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we’d get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life’s not fair
And this is how it feels
[1] – As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly
And this is how it feels
[Repeat 1]La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it’s like we’re women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us ’round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly

[Repeat 1 (3x)]

And here’s another awesome song, bet you can guess who it makes me think of(I don’t even need to tell you that anymore)

Every Time we Touch-Cascada

I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don’t know why
Without you it’s hard to survive.
‘Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
‘Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can’t you hear my heart beat so…
I can’t let you go.
Want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.

The good and the bad times, we’ve been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

‘Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
‘Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can’t you hear my heart beat so…
I can’t let you go.
Want you in my life.

‘Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.

Beauty in the Breakdown-The Scene Asthetic(Nicole told me about them^^)

Come on, take a step towards me
So you can figure me out
I’ve been hoping and praying for a single way
To show you what I’m all about
And I know, and I know this is the only way of pleasing the crowds
But when this is over and done with and we walk away
There should be no doubts
So let’s get a little closer now
Let’s get a little closer now
You say, you say that we’re all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we’re still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

Come on love run with me
Get the hell out of this town
So we can get a better feel for each other
I’ll take you, back to, when you
Remembered how you used to
Just live your life a little for me
Take the time to let it go
Step away and watch me grow

So let’s get a little closer now
Let’s get a little closer now

You say, you say that we’re all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we’re still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

You can stay if you want to
And I write to you and tell you how you’ve always been so special to me
You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try
You can stay if you want to
And I write to you and tell you how you’ve always been so special to me
You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try

To keep you close to me (x3)

You say, you say that we’re all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we’re still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

Mmmmm. Music, right? lol.

You Are An Understanding Girlfriend!
You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him first
And while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slide
Still be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you – let your guy know
He’ll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofgirlfriendareyouquiz/

I need to remember that…

You Need Some Red in Your Life
Red will make you feel energetic, passionate, and determined.
And with a little red, you will project an aura of warmth.
If you want to feel intensely, you’ve got to get some red in your life!For extra punch: Combine red with orange or pink

The downside of red: Red can provoke anger or rage. Watch out!

The consequences of more red in your life:

You will feel more enthusiasm for life
You will have the confidence to go after what you want
You will have a lot more physical energy

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolordoyouneedquiz/

You Are a Chimera
You are very outgoing and well connected to many people.
Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others.
You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others.
You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatmythologicalcreatureareyouquiz/

A Chimera has a lions head and forefeet, mountain goats hind legs, and a snake for a tail…it might also have a goats head…I don’t remember exactly…heh

Your Love is Represented by a Orange Rose
When you’re in love, you tend to be overwhelmed and consumed by desire.
You develop fascinations with people easily, and they’re sometimes even borderline obsessions!
You tend to come on strong. Your love is as hot as a flame.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatroserepresentsyourlovequiz/

They have orange ones too?!

You May Be a Bit Borderline…
Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you’re up, you’re a little bit crazy…
And when you’re down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatpersonalitydisorderareyouquiz/

Your Kissing Purity Score: 51% Pure
For you, kissing isn’t a casual thingLip to lip action makes your heart sing

http://www.blogthings.com/kissingpuritytest/

You Are 49% Pure
You’re not so innocent… in fact, you’re quite unpure.
You have seen and experienced a lot. And you’re no worse for the wear!

http://www.blogthings.com/the100questionpuritytest/

-Jessica lynn

was really really not cool, and it was not my fault. Not at all.

Ok, let’s start from the beginning alright? My mom has always bugged me about everything.(well almost) Lately, her new item has been that I shave my arms. She says it’s weird, that no one does it, and that I shouldn’t either.

Ok, so I’m pretty good these days about being passive-agressive and agreeable, even if I don’t agree with her. That’s how I survive you know? Well, last night my mom noticed that I was still shaving my arms. So she turned to my dad and started talking to him about it.(my sister was also in the room) She asked him what he thought about it. If he thought it was weird too, if he knew people shaving their arms, etc. etc. etc. And she ended up making a really big deal about it.

About an hour in, I started to feel like I wanted to cry. Because, I mean really,  just because I don’t like my parents doesn’t mean I don’t want to be accepted by them. I didn’t cry though, not yet. Becuase I know that’s weakness in their eyes.(Sidestory-hey Wyatt, you know how I feel like crying makes me weak? How I hate it, loathe it really? Well this is why, when I cry my parents tease me. They tell me it’s wrong, they tell me it’s weak. They yell at me for it sometimes even…when they’re really mad, because they think I cry because I want something, or to get out of something. They never think I might be scared, or hurt…they just tease me…) Ok, anyways, about a half-hour later, I do cry. It’s too bad really, if I’d held on another five minutes I could’ve made it to my room first. Oh well.

But really, we almost had a draw on the fight we were having. Because I told them people used to tease me about having such hairy arms*people did* and that since I started shaving my arms not one person has said anything about my arms being hairy*I’ve had people tell me I have soft arms, or even smooth arms, but not hairy* and my parents almost let me go…but when I started crying, they kept me there for another hour. If I’d been able to go sooner, I probably would’ve gone to my room, and cried myself to sleep. And I would’ve let my self do that too. As it was, by the time I got to my room, I spent about another hour trying not to cry, and half crying anyways. The half-hour after that I gave up, relaxed, and cried myself to sleep. I woke up at four in the morning and almost typed this then, but my eyes were still too watery to see straight. When I first woke up I didn’t know why, and I almost cried because of that. I’ve been way too emotional lately…And I haven’t been able to talk to Wyatt. I really want to talk to Wyatt. It was really bad last night…I called his cell sooo many times…hehe…but yeah. Not really all that funny.

I think maybe I’m gonna see if I can get a hold of him again. Maybe I’ll get lucky this time. I’ll talk to you later ‘k?

-Jessica lynn

Late night posting

June 17, 2007

ok, so it’s not that  late…but whatever

So let’s see. Wyatt’s house was great, as always. I just wish I could’ve stayed longer. The cookies are all gone T_T, so sad. I called my baby about two hours ago…at 8

Ummm…what else, tonight was Band Banquet again. I didn’t get to go however. My sis didn’t get section leader, she’s been crying and mam’s been comforting her. And since she’s been fretting over my sis non-stop. It’s really kind of annoying ot know that she’s never worried about me like that. She porbably never will. Oh well, what’s a girl to do?

*sigh* lyrics, and blogthings…

Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol

We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Signal Fire-Snow Patrol

The perfect words never crossed my mind,
’cause there was nothing in there but you,
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me,
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out,

There you are standing right in front of me (x2)
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety

No I won’t wait forever(2x)

In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire,
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes,

There you are standing right in front of me (x2)
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,

There you are standing right in front of me (x2)
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,

No I won’t wait forever(x3)

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)
Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

 http://www.blogthings.com/howrareisyourpersonalityquiz/

Yeah, it’s 11….later

-Jessica lynn

Goin’ to Wyatt’s!

June 16, 2007

Oh yeah, this is definately gonna be fun!

I’m gonna go over and bake cookies. ^^ Personally, I’m planning on sneakin’ a little cookie dough too! I’m not leavin’ for about an hour…so I’m wasting time.

I got in a little trouble last night, ’cause I talked with Wyatt until 10…oops. Now I can only talk ’til 9 O.o oh well. My mommy says that if I talk for shorter periods of time I can talk later. Eh. We’ll see how it goes.

Easy Target-Blink 182

All her signals are getting lost in the ether (That’s what she wanted)
She’s a landslide with a city beneath her (That’s what she wanted)
So take a good look, so you’ll never forget it (That’s what she wanted)
Take a deep breath, I know I’m gonna regret it (That’s what she wanted)

Hollys looking dry looking for an easy target
Let her slit my throat give her ammo if she’ll use it
Caution on the road lies, lies unhidden danger.
Southern California’s breeding mommy’s little monster.

She’s got a mission, and I’m collateral damage. (That’s what she wanted)
She’s the flower that you place on my casket. (That’s what she wanted)
Savor the moment cause the memory’s fleeting.
Take a photograph, as the last train is leaving.

Hollys looking dry looking for an easy target
Let her slit my throat give her ammo if she’ll use it
Caution on the road lies, lies unhidden danger.
Southern California’s breeding mommy’s little monster.

better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
better run run run run run (Holly let me out)
better run run run run run run run run

That’s just the song of the moment ya know? Good song…Maybe I’ll add a few Blogthings to spice up this post….huh…or my current life…

Oh, but first, I did something really stupid yesterday! I burned my feetsies(my wha?)and now theys got blisters 😦 awww, poor baby. Right? Nope. It just sucks, but it was  really  stupid, and not to mention all my fault. Hehe.

You Are 28% Lady
You tend to make up your rules of etiquette, throwing all conventions aside.
And while you try to be a lady (sometimes), your behavior is often quite shocking.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/

hands down. Like, no way am I a lady!!

Your Inner Color is Orange
Your Personality: A total daredevil, you’ll try any thrill. You’re easily bored and you prefer to be on the go.

You in Love: You see love as an adventure, and you find most men dull. You need someone who challenges you!

Your Career: Your ideal job is flexible, fun, and maybe a little dangerous. You have the makings of a private investigator or extreme athlete.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourinnercolorquiz/

Hey Wyatt, you were right…

You Should Be With a Fire Sign!
Your best match is an Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius

Why? You like your guys manly – and in control
Not to mean controlling, but you do like the guy to take the lead
A Fire Sign man will take you by the hand� and show you the world
Just make sure you’re bold too – because this guy likes a challenge!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsignguyshouldyoudatequiz/

0.0 Guess what sign Wyatt is  😀

You Are 24% Girly
You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit.
Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way.

http://www.blogthings.com/howgirlyareyouquiz/

Ohh…I better go get ready, I’m leavin in 15! And I’m still in boxers and T! AHHHHH!!! lol, rofl. Ah, I’m in a good mood today. See ya!

-Jessica lynn

All Better

June 15, 2007

So I called Wyatt last night…

I found out he’d actually been trying to call my cell for quite a while…but it was on silent so I didn’t know. But Wyatt was ok. I was ok. We talked it out(cuz we’re good together like that, we can do that)and he was kinda feeling like an caged animal. Everybody was lookin’ at us, and takin’ pictures and talkin’ ’bout us. I’m used to it, but it bothered him. I’m not sure what to do about that, or if I even can do anything about it, so until he mentions it again, I’m gonna let it go. No use in picking at scabs if you want ’em to heal, right?

I’m Lost Without You-Blink182

I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I’m lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I’m lost without you
I’ll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I’ll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I’m dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I’m lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I’m lost without you

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I’m lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I’m lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I’m lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I’m lost without you

I’m lost without you
I’m lost without you
I’m lost without you
I’m lost without you
I’m lost without you

That’s how I feel about Wyatt, I’m lost without him. He’s my baby. And he makes me safe, and happy. I wouldn’t wanna have to go a day without him by my side. But you know, life’s not perfect…

-Jessica lynn

Musem of Tolerance

June 14, 2007

and some guy problems…just like the old days ya know?

Let’s start with all the good stuff k?

I got up, I was happy, I got dressed, went to school, got on the bus and had three hours of cuddling and kissing and such. Damn good time I dare say. Made me happy. The Musem of Tolerance was…wow. That’s the only way I can put it. I mean, what people deal with. How they deal with it. It’s amazing. But it’s horrible. Our guide was a Holocaust survivor, her name was Gloria, and she told us her story. I’m sure I will never forget. The Holocaust was a horrible thing. It was just a massive slaughter of innocent people. There was no real reason behind it. We said we’d never do it again. That the world had put such things behind it. We lied. The same sort of thing still goes on. And we still let it. On the way home for the first hour or so I like half slept on Wyatt…Oh for a little while I had him in my arms insteada the other way around. ^^

Ok, so, something happened. I dunno what, and I dun really know when. I just know there was something. And it upset Wyatt damn bad. I didn’t really notice at first(shame-shame on me)I just kinda figured he was tired and didn’t want me layin’ on him anymore. So I snuggled with the freezing window and AC. Eventually I got frozen enough that I decided to see if Wyatt would let me cuddle with him, even though he’d pushed me off ‘n not said otherwise yet.

I dun remember if I asked him what was wrong first, or put my arms around him first. But either way…I didn’t get a positive reaction. He wouldn’t talk to me, and when I hugged him, he just gently unwrapped my arms from around him. It hurt. I mean maybe not that bad. But I felt rejected. He’s never made me feel that way before. I figured something had happened and it’d upset him, so I let him alone for a while longer.

We got pretty close to home before I talked to him again. He still didn’t wanna talk. I was gettin’ kinda worried ya know. Was it my fault? Had I done something? Had I said something? I don’t think  so. But I don’t know either. I didn’t know what was making him sad. And that made me sad. He was sad, and that made me sad. But what really got me, what actually hurt, was that he wouldn’t tell me. He wouldn’t talk to me. There was no false ‘I’m ok’ or ‘leave me alone’ or anything just silence and that look. He looked like he was gonna cry. And oh god I just couldn’t take it! It all made ME wanna cry. I mean what the hell was going on?

I was outta time, we got off the bus. Well not quite outta time, but close enough that I’d give up on him. So I sat and waited for my mom, quite damn near cryin’ myself(my headache only contributed to that) And that’s about when Wyatt decided to talk to me. He wanted to know what was bothering me. Normally, I’d be totally well ‘blah blah blah blah blah-blah blah’ you know? But I was kinda fed up. So I didn’t say anything. So he rubbed my back a little ‘n asked if I was ok(here’s where I cross one of the few lines I set for myself in life)I ignored him. I didn’t give in, I didn’t tell him it felt good to have his hands on me again, I didn’t ask him what was wrong. Oh, I might’ve. I did say something about that he might as well be askin’ himself what was wrong. But I’m not sure if he heard me or if he understood at all anyways. So he just walked away. I damn near cried then. But I didn’t let myself. I kinda felt like he ripped my heart out and walked away with it. It was that bad. And it wasn’t even really all that bad…

Well, I’ve been thinkin’ about callin’ him or something. But I’m not gonna. I’m gonna wait and see if he calls. I hope he calls. I really really hope he calls. But I feel like if I call I’m kind of pushing him. I mean he didn’t wanna talk to me on the bus, why would he wanna talk now?

My damn headache killed my train of thought. Look, I’m gonna go ok? I can’t talk about this anymore.

-Jessica lynn

Blogthings

June 11, 2007

Again…I think that’s all I’m gonna have on here, k?

Your Reputation Is: Mystery Girl
You’re the girl that everyone is trying to figure out.
Men are attracted to your intriguing persona – and women want to copy it!

http://www.blogthings.com/doyouhaveabadgirlreputationquiz/

You Are Teal Green
You are a one of a kind, original person. There’s no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don’t scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorgreenareyouquiz/

Your Nail Polish Color is Black
How you’re unique: There’s nothing about you that isn’t uniqueWhy your style rocks: You are a total indie chick… and you can pull it off

What this color says about you: “I’m a trendsetter and don’t care what anyone else is doing!”

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolornailpolishbestfitsyouquiz/

You Are a Normal Girl
You are 50% Good and 50% Bad
Sure you’ve pulled some bad girl stunts in your past.
But these days, you’re (mostly) a good girl.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouagoodgirlorabadgirlquiz/

Now that’s just kind of shocking.

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat
You and cats have a lot in common.
You’re both smart and in charge – with a good amount of attitude.
However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyoumorecatordogquiz/

Your Kisses Are Medium-Hot
Your kisses are definitely sexy, but you’re not about to make anyone gasp for air.
You take it slow and steady… and you ramp things up when you get the right signals.
Your kissing style is adaptable and adept. And people who kiss you love it!

http://www.blogthings.com/howhotareyourkissesquiz/

You Are a Candy Heart
You’re definitely a pro when it comes to romance – and you have great dating etiquette.
Plus you probably smell and taste pretty darn good.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouacandyheartoracandyfartquiz/

hehe

You Are More Yin
Feminine
Devoted
Forgiving
Fall
Winter
Afternoon
Moon
Time
Passive
Metal
Honey

http://www.blogthings.com/areyoumoreyinoryangquiz/

You are a Great Girlfriend
When it comes to your guy, you’re very thoughtful
But you also haven’t stopped thinking of yourself
You’re the perfect blend of independent and caring
You’re a total catch – make sure your guy knows it too!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouagoodgirlfriendquiz/

Your Dosha is Pitta
You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.
You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.
Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.
But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you

In love: You are picky but passionate

To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourdoshaquiz/

You Are A Romantic Realist
You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance.
Sure, you can fall hard… but only for someone you’ve gotten to know.
And once you’re in love, you can be a total romantic goofball…
But you’d never admit it to your friends!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouromanticorrealisticquiz/

You Are 70% Impulsive
You are impulsive, which at times leads to irresponsibility.
It’s hard for you to say no to all but the most insane propositions.
But you could care less. While your impulsive ways have gotten you in a little trouble – they’ve made for a very exciting life!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouimpulsivequiz/

Your Power Bird is a Vulture
You are always changing your life and the lives of those around you.
You aren’t afraid to move on from what holds you back.
Energetic and powerful, you have a nearly unlimited capacity for success.
You know how to “go with the flow” and take advantage of what is given to you.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpowerbirdquiz/

uhg, vulture. Whatever.

Your Eyes Should Be Violet
Your eyes reflect: Mystery and allure

What’s hidden behind your eyes: A quiet passion

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyoureyesbequiz/

You Are Bold And Brave
But daring? Not usually?
You tend to like to make calculated risks.
So while you may not be base jumping any time soon…
You are up for whatever’s new and (a little) exciting!

http://www.blogthings.com/howdaringareyouquiz/

You Are a Sensitive Kisser
For you, kissing is a way to connect

And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy

It may take you a while to kiss someone…

But when you do, it’s total fireworks

http://www.blogthings.com/kissingstylequiz/

You Are Running on 62% Adrenaline
Your Adrenaline Level: Borderline Dangerous

You’re running around so fast, you don’t realize how quickly life is passing you by.
While you may be getting a lot done, you’re on the go lifestyle is probably wearing you out.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyourunningonadrenalinequiz/

You Are a Natural Flirt
Believe it or not, you’re a really effective flirt.
And you’re so good, you hardly notice that you’re flirting.
Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt.
And the fact that you don’t know it is just that more attractive!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofflirtareyouquiz/

Your Summer Love Type is Go With the Flow
A great summer love may be in the cards for you … or not.
You’ll have a fantastic time this summer, taking what comes.
What you want is flexible – what you’ll get is up in the air.
No matter what, you’ll have fun – and maybe a few flings!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyoursummerlovestylequiz/

All of This-Blink 182

With all of this I know now
Everything inside of my head
It all just goes to show how
Nothing I know changes me at all
Again I waited for this to change instead
To tear the world in two
Another night with her
But I’m always wanting you

Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know

With all of this I feel now
Everything inside of my heart
It all just seems to be how
Nothing I feel pulls at me at all
Again I waited for this to pull apart
To break my time in two
Another night with her
But I’m always wanting you

Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know

She’s all I need
She’s all I dream
She’s all I’m always wanting
She’s all I need
She’s all I dream
She’s all I’m always wanting you
I’m always wanting you
I’m always wanting you

Use me Holly come on and use me
We know where we go
Use me Holly come on and use me
We go where we know

She’s all I need
She’s all I dream
She’s all I’m always wanting
She’s all I need
She’s all I dream
She’s all I’m always wanting you

And all again I wait for this
To fill a whole, to shake the sky in two
Another night with her
I’m always wanting you
Another night with her
But I’m always wanting you

ciao ppl

-Jessica lynn

Sharpie Tattoo

June 10, 2007

Not like I can spell it….or did I spell tattoo right?

 Anywho. Today was long, and boring, and horny. It kinda sucked. Ah well, that’s life.

I finished It today. It’s just….wow. I’m not entirely sure how exactly to describe it. So read It.

*Yawn*I is sleepy. Nicole is helping me convince Wyatt that he’s hott. I dunno if it’ll work or not, but we’re trying. I really wanna hug him right now…

Oh, by the way, that airbrush tattoo thingy I got at Soak City, I sharpied it over so that it’ll last a li’l longer ya know? Now it;s nice ‘n jet black. It’s pretty sweet if ya ask me.

Me ‘n Nicole are tryin’ to convince Wyatt that he’s hott. Maybe Ash, talkin’ to her right now….let’s see if she agrees and wants to help…she’s not gonna fight w/ him about it, but she thinks he’s hott. Awesome, I just need to find seven more girls and he’ll have to agree that he’s hott. lol. I’m such a mean girlfriend.(sarcasm)

Nana and Papa are leaving tomorrow. I’ll be sad when Katie(their dog) goes. I’ll miss her. It was sooo incredibly great to have a dog in the house again. I wish she coulda stayed longer 😦

Anyways….let’s see…what song do I have in my head right now…

Hallelujah-Leonard Cohen

Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don’t even know the name
But if I did, well really, what’s it to you?
There’s a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

The oldies rock. ttyl

-Jessica lynn