What happened last night

June 25, 2007

was really really not cool, and it was not my fault. Not at all.

Ok, let’s start from the beginning alright? My mom has always bugged me about everything.(well almost) Lately, her new item has been that I shave my arms. She says it’s weird, that no one does it, and that I shouldn’t either.

Ok, so I’m pretty good these days about being passive-agressive and agreeable, even if I don’t agree with her. That’s how I survive you know? Well, last night my mom noticed that I was still shaving my arms. So she turned to my dad and started talking to him about it.(my sister was also in the room) She asked him what he thought about it. If he thought it was weird too, if he knew people shaving their arms, etc. etc. etc. And she ended up making a really big deal about it.

About an hour in, I started to feel like I wanted to cry. Because, I mean really,  just because I don’t like my parents doesn’t mean I don’t want to be accepted by them. I didn’t cry though, not yet. Becuase I know that’s weakness in their eyes.(Sidestory-hey Wyatt, you know how I feel like crying makes me weak? How I hate it, loathe it really? Well this is why, when I cry my parents tease me. They tell me it’s wrong, they tell me it’s weak. They yell at me for it sometimes even…when they’re really mad, because they think I cry because I want something, or to get out of something. They never think I might be scared, or hurt…they just tease me…) Ok, anyways, about a half-hour later, I do cry. It’s too bad really, if I’d held on another five minutes I could’ve made it to my room first. Oh well.

But really, we almost had a draw on the fight we were having. Because I told them people used to tease me about having such hairy arms*people did* and that since I started shaving my arms not one person has said anything about my arms being hairy*I’ve had people tell me I have soft arms, or even smooth arms, but not hairy* and my parents almost let me go…but when I started crying, they kept me there for another hour. If I’d been able to go sooner, I probably would’ve gone to my room, and cried myself to sleep. And I would’ve let my self do that too. As it was, by the time I got to my room, I spent about another hour trying not to cry, and half crying anyways. The half-hour after that I gave up, relaxed, and cried myself to sleep. I woke up at four in the morning and almost typed this then, but my eyes were still too watery to see straight. When I first woke up I didn’t know why, and I almost cried because of that. I’ve been way too emotional lately…And I haven’t been able to talk to Wyatt. I really want to talk to Wyatt. It was really bad last night…I called his cell sooo many times…hehe…but yeah. Not really all that funny.

I think maybe I’m gonna see if I can get a hold of him again. Maybe I’ll get lucky this time. I’ll talk to you later ‘k?

-Jessica lynn


One Response to “What happened last night”

  1. crazyguy1292 said

    I’m sorry baby

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