The Fourth…Hey, this is gonna be a rant!

July 4, 2007

woot…I care WHY?

I should be in a realitivly good mood right now…but I’m not. Is that surprising? RAWR. I just wanna scream, or hit something, or someone, or just…aw fuck, I can’t find a good way to end that thought. Oh well, another time.

But really WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!! MY period is over, but I’ve still got mood swings, I remembered something I already knew, only this time it made me depressed. Wyatt can’t call, or just doesn’t want to, I don’t know which, right now I don’t really care either. I should know better, but who gives a fuck?

I don’t even know what’s going on, today should’ve been great! I had ribs, twice, I saw Alex, I’m gonna go rock climbing, I’m going to camp! AND I DON’T EVEN CARE!

I’ve gone insane, I know you don’t care, so don’t even start. I hate it, I hate myself, I hate just about everyone right now. No, strike that I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL. Yeah that’s right Wyatt, I hate you. You haven’t even NOTICED how the hell I’ve been feeling these past few days, and you know what? It made me feel like shit. Now maybe that’s not your fault, maybe it is. Maybe I have no right to blame you for it. Maybe I don’t care.

Maybe I’m having a mental breakdown. What the fuck am I doing? Yeah sure there’s a lot of people I hate, and only a small handful that I love..but, I don’t hate everyone!!! Oh and by the way, babe, I do love ya….It’s just right now…I dunno what the fuck about right now…but just don’t take this to damn serious ok?

Oh holy fuck…what am I doing? What am I saying…but damn, I feel a helluva lot better…and so tired…hmm I wonder if Wyatt will read this far after he sees I supposedly hate him…I hope so…I’d delete it, but it’s be kinda obvious..and I already deleted a section this week, about boxers. I mean…stuff.

I still feel like shit. But at least I’m not an angry shit anymore. And Wyatt, this really isn’t your fault…you know if you read this, I just..needed someone to be mad at. And David, quit being so apathetic, your life doesn’t suck anywhere near even half as much as you think it does. And yeah, that’s right, I know. Been there done that.

-Jessica lynn


2 Responses to “The Fourth…Hey, this is gonna be a rant!”

  1. crazyguy1292 said

    i dont think i should even leave a comment on this one. 😦

  2. lief said

    the hate’ll pass.
    always does. &you’ll read this back &it’ll make you sad you could feel this way.

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