WestView Tournament

October 7, 2007

was awesome…and incredably sucky at the same time.

It was awesome because….1-I made 0 mistakes in my marching-Go me!!!! 2-we (Mount Carmel) TIED with RB(instead of getting our butts kicked) 3-I got to see Wyatt 4-I got lots of yummy candy from my section leaders.

It sucked because… 1-so far as I could tell Wyatt was NOT too happy to with me, well, as far as I could tell…and yeah, I wasn’t expecting him to be exactly jumping with joy..but it still kinda hurt a li’l 2-my pain killer still isn’t/wasn’t working 3-Alex was being annoying 4-I didn’t really get to talk to Wyatt much…

(about half way through I decided reason 5 got its own paragraph…)-there was this guy, Michale(spelling much?) and I saw him before the tournament, and then again after…and I dunno…it was just kind of weird, like he fun fun to talk to, and then he poked me, and then he hugged me, and then held my hands for a while, and then I got another hug, and then he left….and I mean, I dunno if that’s really a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, he was cute(like REALLY cute) and he was nice….and it’s not like I wasn’t happy to be held ‘n all…but it was just….I guess nobodies ever really been like that. Not even Wyatt…and it was just different, this guy I never met, like actually hugging me, and him being the one that didn’t wanna let go. I mean like I’m never even gonna see the guy again prolly. But…I’ve never felt like that. I always thought that I was the one that wanted to hold the other persons hand, wanted to hug them, and touch them, and not let go…Damn, I wish I knew more about that guy. If he does that to everyone, if he never does that or what. I mean, I dunno what I mean….I couldn’t stop blushing, I couldn’t stop smiling, I couldn’t stop laughing. Why don’t I know anyone like him? He wasn’t like insanely talkative, but there was no silence, he was like REALLY friggin tall, just like everybody else in the universe you know? And I dunno, since I wasn’t like in the mood to be all flirty or anything…it was great talking to him. I was just myself, and since he was so relaxed I felt relaxed, and I didn’t feel tense, or embarassed, I just felt kind of sad that that I was with Michale, and not Wyatt, and that it was this guy I’d never met making me feel this way, and not someone I knew and loved.And I’m going on and on…but…thsi has never happened to me before. If this had happened before I could be more ‘yeah whatever’ about it…but I can’t. Maybe Alex is right, but I am to flighty. But it’s not like I go out looking for guys… this sort of thing just seems to happen when I’m single….But why can’t Michale go to MC? Why can’t I get to know him? Why can’t I figure out why he’s like that? Why nobody else is like that? Who is he?

Ok, yeah, done obsessing…that was too much I think. But it’s been on my mind so much I was going insane.

Keeper-YellowCard

I wanna love, I wanna leave
I Want You To Love Me
I want you To Leave me
I Wanna Stand Where I Can See
I’m Watching you Love Me
I’m Watching You Leavin Me Now
I Wish I Could Be Somebody Else
I Wish I Could See You In Myself
Wish there Was Something Inside Me
To Keep You Beside Me And
Say What You Really Feel
You Know I Need Something That’s Real
I Wish there Was Something Inside Me
To Keep You Beside Me

I Wanna Know If I Could Be
Someone to Turn To
That Could Never Hurt You
But I Know What You Think Of Me
Yea, You Had a Break-Through
And Now I’m Just Bad News For You

I Wish I Could Be Somebody Else
I Wish I Could See You In Myself
Wish there Was Something Inside Me
To Keep You Beside Me And
Say What You Really Feel
You Know I Need Something That’s Real
I Wish there Was Something Inside Me
To Keep You Beside Me

I Should’ve Told You Everything
I Never Gave You Anything
I Should’ve Told You Everything
If I Could Give You Anything
You Know I’d Tell You Everything

I Wish I Could Be Somebody Else
I Wish I Could See You In Myself
Wish there Was Something Inside Me
To Keep You Beside Me And
Say What You Really Feel
You Know I Need Something That’s Real
Wish there Was Something Inside Me
To Keep You Beside Me

I Should’ve Told You Everything 3X

So…now about Tyler. I asked him on Friday, what exactly was going on between us, because half the people I know that know him, say they’ve asked him, and he likes me, and the other half, say they’ve asked him and he doesn’t. Obviously, I wanna believe the half that says he likes me. But I do believe the half that say he doesn’t. Tyler, was no help really, he said ‘Well what do you think’ I said ‘I don’t know! That’s why asking you!’ and it just kinda went from there. He likes I should follow my gut basically, and then the bell rang and he hugged me and then he left…and well….my gut says I should go out with him….(or it did until I saw Wyatt and met Michale, but that’s beside the point) so what may or may not happen, is that on Monday I’ll ask him out. damn, my life is a mess. Well, not my life life, but my love life.

Someday I’ll get it right, until then….I’ve always got PostSecret and WP.

-Jessica lynn

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