January 9, 2008

I need hug

So…helluva yesterday, let me tell yous about it. Just a quick list, not to big on details at the moment.

In the morning I overslept by about a half hour, fed Kira instead of myself, didn’t even get coffee, and nearly missed the bus.

During school I got a killer migrain, and right after I took my migrain meds, I got my fucking period. So I skipped track, again.

I’m almost out of my Naproxyn, only 1.5 doses left. So I’m skipping tonight’s dose to help me with tomorrow.

I didn’t get to talk to Wyatt last night at all really. And I’m really hoping he’ll call back tonight. I called and his mom answered, I was pretty shocked. But she said she’d ask him to call me when he got home. He was supposed to be home at 5, and then go out to dinner. So who knows when he’ll call. I guess I’ll wait to try until 8ish.

Today wasn’t so bad, I had a speech n the first draft of an essay due. But when I got home, my mom ripped on me about my acne, not finishing making dinner, etc etc etc. I just wanted to eat….is that a crime?

Worst part though…ever since the other day…I’ve had Antwinette on my mind. Her and Wyatt(he’s not bad, he’s actually pretty awesome) so why’s this bad, right? Well…he said she was cuter than me. I’m hotter, but she’s cuter. And yeah, I’ll tell anybody to their face I’d rather be hott than cute any day. And yeah, for reals, I’d rather actually be wanted than just ‘easy on the eyes’. But seriously? That cut, deep. I’d love to be cute. I guess…nobody sees that part of me. I thought maybe Wyatt had. But…I never really told him, that’s pretty clear now. Somehow I always thought guys thought girls wearing oversized guys sweatshirts n such was cute. Obviously that’s just my own opinion. Somehow I thought being sleepy, or wearing my pjs to school sometimes was cute. I guess not. So many little things, most of which prolly go unnoticed, I do, just to try and be cute. I know I’m not your natural cutie pie girli girl. But…I kinda thought I didn’t have to try to hard either. I thought hott was something that would take effort. But the hell with this. I’ll live, right? I just wish I could talk to Wyatt. Yeah about this. But really? I don’t care. I just wanna hear his voice. I want him to make me feel better, like he used to. Like he still does.

-Jessica lynn


2 Responses to “So…painful”

  1. me said

    no i swear it was the hat…. i have a weakness for the color white… no im not a white supremacist sorry if it seems that way i have nothing against anyone, baby you are cute, and you know it, but when i don’t have you there with me to compare you against her…. is kinda like getting caught up in the moment you know? that came out wrong. but o well.. i is tired so it wont make sense right now, i love you.

  2. crazyguy1292 said

    it was the hat babe, it made me flashback to 7th grade at disneyland when you got the tigger hat, remember? it was the same type of hat, but it was white, there’s nothing going on w/ her n there wouldn’t be anyways, im pretty sure that she has a boyfriend

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