Life as a Wife

September 16, 2011

So, I got married this past weekend. Nothing big or exciting. It wasn’t exactly as planned as Mitch and I would’ve liked. We would’ve put it off for another year or so if we didn’t have to be legally married to keep me here in Canada.

Anyways, it rained, and the wedding was outside. But we had flowers and friends and food. After the ceremony someone cooked for a change and we all stayed up late and played Magic and Munchkin and a few other games while watching obscure Netflix movies.

This last wednesday I got hired by McDonalds. Now I know that doesn’t SOUND like much, but it’s got a lot more possibility than it sounds like. Yeah, I start out on my feet in a fast food joint, BUT after my first 90 days I get health care, dental and vision. I get 2 weeks paid vacation a year, and if I make it to manager I get a company car. McDonalds pays for gas and insurance for the company car. In as quick as a year I can get promoted out of the restaurant and into a desk job somewhere. Which would put me on a pretty good salary. I can keep moving up, get pay raises, and land myself a nice pay, free car, 3 weeks of paid vacation, and not need to go to college to do it. McDonalds will pay for, and send me to any and all of the classes I need. Not bad eh? Now we just have to wait and see if it all plays out as well as all that.

In all honesty though, I’m writing because I’m NOT particularly happy. I was, don’t get me wrong. But right after moving/getting married, things for the last week haven’t been the same. Yeah there’s lots of good reasons for it, but that doesn’t stop me from getting a little bummed about it. Mitch is allergic to something in our new place. So he’s wheezing and coughing and sneezing, and finally gave up and is on some allergy meds which seem to be working. Plus we’re living with our friend Chris, he’s our landlord now, and Mitch didn’t really see too much of him before, and now pretty much whenever Mitch is home, so is Chris, and the two of them are loving having someone else to plat games with. So the various problems I’ve got? Well what about me?! I play the games they play, but I don’t seem to get included. In the last week, we’ve only had sex ONCE. And it’s not my fault. And wasn’t even because Mitch really wanted it, it was because he’d been feeling bad for turning me down so many times already this week. I thought it was the wife that never wanted sex…not the husband. It’s pretty frustrating. Not to mention Mitch has gotten into some game and has been spending ALL of his free time on it. Yes, this always happens when he gets into a new game, but why couldn’t it have waited a week? We just got internet and cable yesterday, and I’m home pretty much 24/7 how bored out of my skull do you think I’m been? I do the dishes every day, and believe you me somebody’s gonna be hearing about that soon, there’s three people living here and while cooking and cleaning for Mitch is one thing, I don’t intend to keep doing it for the both of them.

You see, when I came back to Canada Mitch promised me he was going to try harder to give me more attention. Take some time away from his games and cuddle up with me, watch TV, play a game, something. And up until we moved, he WAS. He was actually spending more time with me than his games, it was wonderful! Hell, for almost a week we were having sex daily, multiple times daily! Now obviously that made me sore as all hell and had to stop, but going from all that, to nothing is driving me nuts. We’re not snuggling up and watching TV or playing games, or anything. I’m sick of sitting next to him staring at his game rubbing his back and getting snapped at for giving him kisses while he’s trying to kill things while hoping he’ll come over and love on me a little.

He’s starting to notice that I’m upset with him. And in spite of what may or may not have been his best efforts, I am now positive we need to get a dog asap, because honestly, I am lonely as all fucking hell. Yeah, from 7am to 5pm when he’s at work, but sometimes when he’s home too. Most days I’m ok with that, I’m used to it. But I need a little something more in my life, and I think I knew when I got into this that might be the case.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my husband. But I know that it’s hard for him to put anyone or anything before his games. Hell, when I’ve got WoW hooked up I’m the same way, so we’re good for each other. It’s just early in the morning, and I must’ve been sleep talking to him when he said goodbye and kissed me this morning, so I can’t remember, I just woke up and realized he was gone. It made me kind of sad becuase I was mad at him when I went to sleep last night and I wanted a chance to love on him before he went away for the day. I know when he gets home he’ll be hot and tired and he won’t be too interested in getting smothered. I suppose that’s life. I’ll have to remember to post again on here when I’m in a better mood. Life isn’t all bad, I just tend to post when I feel like it is.

-Jessica Janke