Don’t Let Me Go For This

All That We Needed Lyrics

If you could come clean about everything
It would be easy for me
To be sorry
If you could see all the possiblities
We might not still be standing where we started Oh no
Don’t let me go for this
Don’t let me go for this

I might be a fool, you might be one too
Maybe we’re all that we needed
Two wrongs don’t make a right
But I don’t care tonight
Maybe we’re all that we needed

You could say we were just a big mistake
I think it’s worth making
And worth repeating
I would say good things come to those who wait
I would say anything if you’d believe it

Oh no
Don’t let me go for this
Don’t let me go for this

I might be a fool, you might be one too
Maybe we’re all that we needed
Two wrongs don’t make a right
Nut I don’t care tonight
Maybe we’re all that we needed

Maybe we’re perfectly not meant to be
Or more alike than we’re willing to see
Maybe we’re not meant to not disagree
Maybe we’re crazy baby

If you could come clean about everything
It would be easy for me
To be sorry
If you could see all the possiblities
We might not still be standing where we started

Oh no
Don’t let me go for this
Don’t let me go for this

I might be a fool, you might be one too
Maybe we’re all that we needed
Two wrongs don’t make a right
But I don’t care tonight
Maybe we’re all that we needed

I don’t care tonight
Maybe we’re all that we needed

I don’t care tonight
Maybe we’re all that we needed

So let’s see. I think I ‘might’ have finally found out what my mental illness is. Not the name or anything scientific like that, but the basics you know? And yes, I do KNOW I have inherited a mental illness. It sucks, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do anything about it. Can’t stop it. If I find I can break it(I hope). I’ve known for over a year now it gives me a subconcious urge to kill myself. Not cool right?

Well it’s got something to do with me being a perfectionist, physically. That why I’m such a pysco about going to the gym(I think) and why even with being about 20 pounds underweight I can think I need to lose more. But getting better. I’m gaining weight. And I’m trying eat food that’s good for me AND helps me gain weight…unlike the cheesecake I’m scarfing at the moment, I usually have something like oatmeal and tea for breakfast. lol.

Or it might be just that I’m an mo freak that gets pushed over the edge every now and then and does something suicidal….let’s seriouisly hope not. I don’t have a remidy for that. Well I do but I already used it…

Oh, and Alex-don’t tell my sis about the wordpress-or you DIE got it? Not really…but still

-Jessica lynn

Cookie Dough to the Max!

Ok, so I’m sittin’ here, chowin’ down on a giant bowl of cookie dough, that I made for myself right? Yup. LOVE cookie dough. Don’t you? Yeah well doing the dishes sucks cause mom and dad can’t know that I actually HAD cookie dough…like EVER. lol.

And hmm, breakfast-time now, eggs. And you know what. Thanks a TON to ALEX, I burned em. AYou know why I blame it on Alex? Ever since Alex and I cooked egs and burned them together all I can cook is burned eggs!!!! And before, I got away with NOT burning them…more cheese for me then. 😉

My mom tried to drag me to the gym before I woke up, she said I’m leaving now wanna come? Obviously NOT. I’m gonna play bball later instead. Tomorrow we can go to the gym. Besides I just went yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.

I really don’t feel like typing, or eating these burned eggs….ttyl

-Jessica lynn

All Alone Again

Oh yeah. Nobody here but ME. It’s really lonely…I miss people, everyone really. The computer and games, and food all get rathewr boring after a bit. And the gym just gets kind of painful if you go every day for like 2/3 hours, so I’m not doing that. And a girl can only play so much basketball alone before it gets really boring…Where did everybody go? Or maybe I should be asking where am I? God this is getting really boring too…..That might have something to do with why I haven’t been typing much…Although last night I did add like another 10 pages to my book….Fun…(sarcasm)

I think that everyone like forgot this thing existed. Or maybe they all just have lives….oh…well yeah that too. Well I’ve become a music-holic….lol-more so. I mean I’ve been through “my” LL Cool J CD about 8 times, P!nk 3 times, Simple Plan 2, ALL 3 of my Good Charlotte CDs 4 times-X_X, and then all 220 soungs on my MP3 13 times!!!!!! WHOA!

Right this is meaningless/pointless and boring…..Good bye.

-Jessica lynn 

Pizza and Blogthings

Well….flip that I guess. Blogthings and THEN pizza…

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

Well and music…Ever hear the band The Scene Aesthetic? Well they sing this song Beauty in the Breakdown….it is awsome. Really.

But then again so are boxers and sports bras…aka the most comfortable things I've ever worn. lol. I think I'm not gonna call Jordan tonight-give him a little break from me you know? Think he'd appreciate that >_<. Sounds like he's been pretty busy lately anyway. Plus I doubt he wants to hear me blubbering about how sad I am the school year's over. I'll feel better by tomorrow anyways.

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle – a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

I don't try-I just am. 😀 lol.

Andrew isn't talking to me hardly at all now. Guess he doesn't believe in staying friends through much of anything. Ah well.

Music is a good remidy for….um…. well for everything. lol. Zero depression at the moment-YAY-Just major lack of sleep. Pizza should be here soon I hope.

"This can't be home, anymore…" Big Apple Heartbreak-YellowCard

-Jessica lynn

Psyche!

Hehehe-I was juist kidding about having a boyfriend you know. I mean cause he broke up with me in less than 24 hours. One day he’s here…next day he’s not. It’s magic!

So why do I feel like crying? It’s not so much that HE doesn’t like me-as it is that nobody does. And that he said yes-but he didn’t mean it. Why do people do that to me? They say so they don’t hurt me. It just hurts more you idiots-get it through your head!

It didn’t help that I spent like 40 bucks at lunch on chocolate so I wouldn’t actually break down in school. Course I can’t break down at home either so it doesn’t really matter. I’m just gonna go to guitar lessons, and the gym, and “pretend” none of this happened. Pain always helps that right? Get some abs-god hurt like hell the other day from that.

-Jessica lynn

She’s Got a Boyfriend Now

Boo YA! I HAVE a boyfriend-and if my parents stops being jerks I'm going on my frist ACTUAL date thursday!!!!!  Oh, for those of you that were wondering…I asked Andrew Tran out, cute short Asian kid. Totally awsome ;). You get the picture.

I'm off to be happy-ttyl

-Jessica lynn

After Banquet Sadness

I guess none of my friends will ever get to see pictures of “all the hot guys that were flirting with me.” Nobody would talk to me-let alone dance with me…I think what was really bad was all the slow dances. All the guys had girls, all the girls had guys, and they got together and slow danced. While I sat-all alone-on the sides-watching-waiting-wishing. It was kind of pathetic-I mean here I am in a halter-top dress, barefoot(just for the dancing part), my nails done, my face decked in the perfect amount of make-up, with my hair done just right-and yet I was sitting there on the floor, watching the people dance. Silent. God I wanted to cry. I’m not supposed to feel so alone at a DANCE! No one is. Before all the slow songs started I didn’t care too much-I dance like a mad-woman, shakin’ my ass and twirling around. It was kina fun while it lasted-even if  I was alone. But damn-I walked around barefoot enough*or maybe it’s the way I dance*that my feet are covered in blisters-oh they hurt! My feet are all black and red. Wait..you don’t really need the details-let’s just say it’s bad enough for me to limp. Well it’s 1 AM now.

God they better not make me do anything today. It’s bad enough that even though my mom won a raffle basket she’s only gonna share it with Jen, that they got roses-but just for Jen, that they care that Jen’s feet MIGHT hurt*but don’t* not that I’m limping. They want to know if Jen had an ok time, not why I look on the verge of tears. And then they expect me to be a bellboy or something and CARRY all of THEIR stuff into the house. Uh no. lol. Look I’m just gonna post this before I pass out ok?

-Jessica lynn

Band Banquet-Whoo Hoo

No enthusiasm here I know. Sleepy. Last night I was on AIM until like midnight. *yawn* I’m listenin to a little Good Charlotte here 🙂 . Trying not to do to much now-I finally got my hair perfect. lol. MY sis got a drumset today. And oh…even if it is band banquet-I managed to start the day off with taking a hammer to pair of closet doors in the hot sun and pounding them to pieces. Nice huh? Got a nice tan doin’ it too ;). lol. I think at 3 I’ll start getting my dress, make-up etc on, gives me a little more than an hour-that should be enough. 

I almost called Jordan at like 11 last night you know. He should be gald I didn’t. Actually it was kinda funny-I still thought it was like 8-so I picked up the phone and then saw the time. lol. He didn’t call me back 😦 lol, jk. I think Jordan has an aversion to calling ME back….So I just get to call him all the time 😀 lol. OR maybe he lost the phone again. That’s ok. No matter-I won’t be here for long anyway.

You know I think Wyatt is trying to make me hate Jordan. Wait-no-I KNOW Wyatt is trying to make me hate Jordan. Mostly because I have better reasons to think he’s lying than telling the truth. Wyatt is trying to tell me that Jordan thinks I’m this crazy psyco person he hates talking to. You don’t talk to crazy psyco people on the phone for an hour!!!!!!! Or really at all. I mean, no one is really so twisted to talk to someone that they hate talking to for like an hour just so they don’t hurt them. They usually make up an excuse like-I gottas go, or my mom’s calling me-etc. You know? So why is Wyatt telling me this? To make me stop liking Jordan? Even if I didn’t like Jordan-if Jordan never existed I still wouldn’t like Wyatt. He should get that in his head. ‘Cause he’s really starting to scare me, and I can only be nice to him for so long. And that time limit is already over-he already thinks I’m a bitch-so why is he talking to me?!?!?!

Ah-3 time to dress up…..

-Jessica lynn

Cards…When You’ve Got Nothing Else to do

Yeah, I know, it's weird maybe pathetic, but I AM at least WAITING for a call…does that count for anything? No? ok. Anyways-it's just a little game I picked up somewhere along the way. No idea who made it up, what it's really called etc, so me and all my friends that play it just call it the awsome game. 'Cause well, it is. lol.

Basically, what you do is pick 4 people of the gender you're after, 3 you like one you don't, useing kings or queens a appropriate ;). Then pull one card which is supposedly who you marry(but you can't look yet!), then you ask a question(ex:who's my first kiss)say the answer is hearts-whoever you placed as your hearts is your supposed first kiss, then put one card above every person, continue this way until you have 2 cards left, ask the last 2 questions. Then, pick a pile above one card. Say you pick the pile over hearts, you also take all the cards that were attributed to that card as answers. Tally up the 4 different suits, hearts is how much that person loves you, diamonds is how much money you 2 would have if married, spades is the erm, disturbing thing, let's just say it's how many times a week you 2 would get busy ;), and clubs is how many kids you'd have. Evens girls, odds boys, for those you who care either way. Fun game huh?

Well I like it.  If the stupid phone doesn't ring in 10 minutes….Rawr. It just should. You don't need to know what I'll becuase it'll ring…because I said it will. I've been spending a lot of time on the phone letely. BIG phone bill comin' up for the rents. Haha.

Banquest tomorrow. I gotta get all fressed up n everything. Earrings, halter dress, heels, make-up, the whole shabang. If I could spell that right. lol. MMMMM…..Fluffy stuffed animals and pillows. They so wuvable. Err…loveable. 😀

Grr…..5 minutes to 9….would he call? Or would he not? Does he KNOW that I won't be in touch from 5 to 12 tomorrw? Probably not…Geez I need to talk to him!!!!!RAWR*pulls out hair-jk*

*Whimpers and runs around room*…..weird much? Which is why I didn't ACTUALLY do that-I just said I did-and then here I am explaining that I didn't. Sweet.

-Jessica lynn

Mmmmm…Tea

lol-I know-not your average drink-especially on a hot summer(ish) day, but hey-it's good. And it really helps my throat. I've been singing so much it's going kind of hoarse. And it feels real good holding a nice hot mug after playing my guitar. It's just so…Relaxing. I need more relaxation time like this. When at the very least my problems aren't bothering me. This is almost as good as talking to Jordan. lol. Naw, but drinking tea and talking with someone? The two don't compare in any way other than being relaxing. So scratch that.

I don't think I posted this yet-but next year-I'm gonna actually be in the talent show. I've eliminated all the reasons I've ducked out in the past several years. And I've got my song picked out, as you read, I'm working on the singing and the guitar part. The song I'm gonna sing is Things I'll Never say. Yes it's by Avril Lavigne, but I don't CARE. So HA! lol. But it's so, so perfect. I mean the tag line to the chorus is I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect 'cause I know you're worth it, you're woth it, yeah. How much more perfect does a song get? Not much ok? lol. Just seriously hope my voice doesn't crack. God that would be horrible. (it's like NO! Must think happy thoughts!!!! lol)

Ah, yeah so anyways….My tea is gone T_T, I should make more-but I think instead I'm gonna go finish off that dark chcocolate, maybe take a nice hot shower, maybe do some homework, maybe call Jordan, or Sam, or Nicole, whoever…Maybe I should do that poetry thing since I'm on the pc….ok yeah. I will.

-Jessica lynn